Awareness of the Circle Edge

Last week, I got on a plane for the first time in two years. This is a long gap in flight travel for me, as one of my joys is to explore the world, visit friends and family, plus the many work related conferences I attended and spoke at over the years. So it was a bit frustrating to feel a resistance or nervousness about something that was so second nature to me, and for a trip I was very excited about. I’ve covered this ground! Why is it different?

I realized that my “circle” contracted in some ways over these past super unique years. The circle edge got a little smaller, the things that felt comfortable to do because I kept practicing them, had drifted to the outer edge of my circle. I simply was out of practice a bit with traveling, a muscle I hadn’t used during this time. But I’m also ok with that, there are ebbs and flows in life, things outside our control, or priorities shift around (it’s not always a pandemic that gets us out of the loop).

This is where practicing awareness comes in. Knowing that I have every intention of traveling again and the invitation to start again came at just the right time for me. My heart and intuition know this. The part of me that wanted to stay within the safe, comfortable smaller circle was bringing up the nervousness and resistance. But the heart was looking at the long term game and knew I had to work through this — now or later — and now felt like the right choice for me.

Sure things were a little bit different, but not too much, but I also found more joy in it than I expected. I happily breezed through my TSA Pre-Check, delighted at all the perks that I had forgotten about. Once I got through security and found my gate, I was so appreciative at getting to travel again, I was actually a bit teary-eyed! Normally, getting to a gate, it’s just the mundane waiting. Instead, I got to have this feeling of gratitude and that was a special gift from my heart, telling me “I got this.”

I’m telling you this story because I suspect there are circles in your life where the edge has shrunk back. And that’s ok. I bet, like me, maybe there is a feeling of resistance or nervousness about getting back to something you used to love to do. It’s ok to know you are not ready to go back to it yet, and have boundaries set through self-awareness with the intention that you will get back to it at the right time for you. It is also ok when you are ready to gently work through on your time line, step by step, to resume this activity that brings you joy. Awareness of where you are on your circle of comfort provides a perspective of non-judgmental, compassionate self-awareness.

Circle Edge Awareness Meditation

1. Sit in a comfortable, upright posture.

2. Bring to mind something you haven’t done in a while and desire to do again.

3. Let your mind raise the various reasons why you haven’t done it. If agitation, anger, blame, or long stories arise, be aware, take a deeper breath, and ask if these are helpful at this moment. If not, let them go. Spend just 1 minute in this part.

4. Now switch your mind to the feelings you had in the past when you did this thing. For example, you may feel vitality, joy, happiness, accomplished, relaxed, or many other things that were enjoyable. Soak in those feelings.

5. Visualize a circle around you. How close is the circle? Is it a step or two away? Off a distance on the horizon? Is the edge soft or hard? What’s inside the circle, close to you? Is it a color, clarity, a texture? What’s beyond the circle? Is it different than the inside? Walk to the edge of the circle. What would you need to do to cross the edge? Maybe try crossing it for a moment. You can step back and forth. Use your breath. What happens to the edge as you do this? What shifts in your mind, body, and breath? Does your energy expand, become more inward, or some other sensation?

6. Spend a moment now within the circle, and breathe gratitude towards yourself for doing this exercise. Nourish yourself. Perhaps journal what you experienced and learned, and come back to this meditation periodically.

#meditation #contemplation #selfawareness #nonjudgment #circle

Back from Greece

The yoga bug and the travel bug entered my life around the same time. Neither have ever left me, and likely because there is always more to explore in each. In both, you can visit many places, and also dig in deeper and learn something more focused and singular. You don’t have to choose one over the other. You can practice being present in 25 unique poses in an hour vinyasa yoga class and also find yourself digging into one of them -- like pigeon -- to reflect what is going on deeper than the surface.

Mindfulness is a large part of travel. Sometimes by necessity - finding your way around a new airport or train station, sometimes by intention - when you choose to purposefully immerse yourself in an experience (like watching sunsets in Santorini). Other times your attention is grasped unintentionally as you are struck and swept away in a moment. There are many reasons to travel -- one is the reminder of mindfulness in the present moment that comes with breaking routine.

Yoga practice can take on those same qualities, but it also can easily become a routine when you are a regular practitioner. The journey becomes a commute as you make the familiar movements practice after practice. I recall a teacher saying once that when your practice becomes boring soon you will have a breakthrough. Perhaps you have experienced this, perhaps not. If and when you do, it is important to stick with it for the long run, and perhaps reflect on what you could do to introduce a new layer or focal point to your practice.

You can break out of routine by taking a workshop on a yoga-related discipline, read a book about how the brain works in meditation (highly recommend Rick Hanson’s books), try a different style yoga class or a completely different physical activity to challenge your body in a new way.

Wander, find something new, and as they say - once you begin practicing yoga (or traveling), it will always find its way back to you.